Thoughts...

These encouraging verses are speaking softly to my heart, maybe they will encourage you too :-)

"How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you...... Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Psalm 139:17-18 & 23-24

Mystery

The mysteries of our Father amaze me, fascinate me.

The way he moves, creates, and exists among us.

The way he teaches us and guides us.

The way he loves us, molds us, and uses us.

God is incredible, incomprehendable!

I can't wrap my mind around Him.

I'm in awe.

The Beauty in Growing Up

I've been thinking about life and how the stages we go through are so strange at times. The concept of going from a child to an adult can be very difficult to grasp. The transition is somewhat of a slow but sudden slam. The biggest concern for a while is where to attend college and once college comes, a different view of the real world suddenly hits you. Now you are not only preparing for school, but for life. The decisions you make determine your entire future. (No pressure) These decisions include how you spend your money, your choice of career path, relationships and much more. Life becomes more complicated than just figuring out what the topic of your research paper will be. Although the real world is difficult, and calls for a lot of responsibility, I think that we as humans tend to make it more complicated then it should be. I know that I do at times. I spend hours worrying about situations that I cannot physically change. While working intensely to map out my life, planning how everything "should" go, I have realized that the beauty of Christ is that he steers us. Though he does not do the work for us, he guides us in the direction we need to go. He does not throw us out there and expect us to survive, but rather gives us the instincts that we need and the ability to learn how to take on the challenge. There is a lot of preparing to do in life, but I think that just living it is the best way to learn. With that said, I'm ready to take on these beautiful challenges. I have been warned that it's not easy, and from experience thus far, I very well know that it's not. I trust that it's worth it though, and I have no intention on holding back. I thank God that I have Him to walk through this life with, and for carrying me along the way. Here I go............. :0)

Still learning,
Courtney

That's Life

I was reading some of my old blogs and I noticed that I write a lot about learning. It's kind of funny actually. Sometimes I write twice about the same topic, just in different words. When I was in middle school and high school I could have cared less about learning. I didn't want to know who sailed the ocean blue in 1492. I didn't think that there was much of a point to the past, I just wanted to look straight to the future. I wanted to keep moving. I didn't want to slow down, and I never looked back.
Now, on the other hand, things have changed. My heart has changed. My desire to learn is indescribable. History now fascinates me, and I could easily get lost in the beauty that surrounds me. God's beauty.
I recently went to Italy with my mom and I was overwhelmed at all there was to learn. It was information overload and I am still taking it all in. God created this world to be so complex but at the same time with enough simplicity for the human mind. It's kind of like the word "life". Such a simple four letter word but when you really dig deep, it's not so simple. To me, life is an ongoing adventure, full of surprises. A journey that opens and closes doors, that creates chances to learn and to change and to live. Life is exciting, even in moments of disbelief and heartache.
Life is a different adventure for everyone, and my prayer is that we each embrace it. Live it. Follow your calling whatever it may be. Let God guide you on this journey, let Him teach you. There is so much out there, whether it's right in your backyard, or 5000 miles away. I'm so thankful to say that I love to learn.

Learning is life, and life is learning.

(P.S. ask about the picture...I'd love to share the story behind it!)

Strength Will Rise

I think that as humans one of the most difficult things to do is to wait. I, along with several others, struggle with waiting on God. I want things to happen in my time, done the way I want, and all under my control. The truth of the matter is that it's not possible for anything to be under my control. In fact, I've learned that when I try to take matters into my own hands, my life completely falls apart. I am nothing without God's control, and I need Him to steer my path.

One of my favorite books is called Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliott. I don't think that I will ever stop learning from this book. Passion and Purity is about learning to let Christ take control of your life, and wait on Him even throughout the darkest of times. Elisabeth Elliott writes that "waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts". As much as I dislike waiting and the possibility of not knowing what is to come, I love reading the words "uncertainty" and "God" in the same sentence. I've learned that God is One of flexibility, the mysterious and unknown ways. He makes us wait in order to train us to lift our heart to Him in need of His control. He wants us to desire to wait on Him, because He knows that the waiting is worth while.

Elisabeth Elliott also writes my favorite poem in her book:

" I wait.

Dear Lord, Thy ways

Are past finding out,

Thy love too high.

O hold me still

Beneath Thy shadow.

It is enough that Thou

Lift up the light

Of Thy countenance.

I wait--

Because I am commanded

so to do. My mind

Is filled with wondering.

My soul asks "Why?"

But then the quiet word,

"Wait thou only

Upon God."

And so, not even for the light

To show a step ahead,

But for Thee, dear Lord,

I wait."

Heavenly Father,

As my mind is filled with wonderings for what is to come, I pray that you will help me be selfless. Lord, please let me not want things to happen on my time, under my control, but to place them in your hands. Guide my heart each day Father, steer me into your will and your way. I love you Father. I am so grateful to be yours, and i'm glad you're mine. Thank you for helping me wait.

Amen

Break My Chains, Dear Lord

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Here I stand about to fall

Who is the girl that I now see?

A heart longing just to be free

She keeps on listening to the cries

That never stop telling her lies

And as the tears flow down her cheeks

It's something more that she seeks

Than the approval of humanity

Who is simply full of vanity

What an overwhelming feeling it must be

To be compared to all that you see

In a world that is so cold

This is getting somewhat old

I'm ready to be free

Dear Father, please save me

Thankfully Overwhelmed

One thing that I love about this life is that we do not ever stop learning. Whether we realize it at the time or not, we truly do learn something new every day. I think that this could possibly be the root of my problem. My problem being that I have not been able to write in quite some time. There have been so many things that God has been teaching me lately, and I'm so overwhelmed with them all that I cannot seem to put them into words. This overwhelming feeling is not a bad thing by any means. It's simply a joy and a peace that passes all understanding. Although I'd love to shout to the world everything that the Lord is teaching me, He goes on to tell me that it's okay to keep these certain things just between the two of us. How great is our God that he longs to have such an intimate relationship with us, lowly human beings who do not deserve His time nor love. I'm in awe when he says to me "Daughter, throughout your life I'm going to share with you many new and exciting things! Some of them I want you to store in your heart so that you may shout it to all who is willing to hear, and some of them I want you to hold fast in your heart so that you my dwell on them and dwell in me. That we may grow together, just the two of us." How wonderful is our Father that he may desire to share some of many mysteries that He created! How great is it that He chose to teach us, test us, shake us, mold us, use us, and above all, love us!
-Most beautiful Father,
Thank you. Thank you for teaching me new things every single day. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of you and you a part of me. I am nothing without you. I love you.
In YOUR name,
Amen

Captivated

Here I am wide awake in the middle of the night wondering whether to read or to write. Many thoughts are racing through my head as Christmas is only four days away and a brand new year is about to begin. Thoughts of last minute Christmas shopping, New Years Resolutions, family and friends fill my mind. I sit here a moment and the word "God" overpowers me. God. It is a name that we often throw around without a care, forgetting how powerful and meaningful it truly is. Lately I have been thinking about prayer in the same way. I tend to forget how extreme, intense, and powerful prayer is. I find myself praying to GOD telling Him the same things over and over again. "Father, you are amazing, wonderful, indescribable, full of love and you astound me", I recite to Him. Do you think that after hearing the same thing every single day that He would get tired of it? Do you think that those words would get old, worn out, and He may wonder if I truly mean it? As I begin to end my prayers, I often begin feeling guilty. I'm left in tears as I search for more words to lay before our Savior. I find nothing. HOW CAN I PRAY IN ORDER THAT I MAY GIVE GOD THE GLORY AND HONOR THAT HE DESERVES? Finally, a sweet voice softly says, "I want your love. I want your faith. I want your obedience. I want your time. I just want YOU, Courtney." I fall to my knees. Father reminds me that there is NOTHING GREATER than being in the presence of Him, holding on for dear life as He holds onto me. There is power that comes when I put away all distractions and my focus is solely on the one who created me. There is something greater than the words that come out of my mouth. There is a child who is giving her time, her love, her heart to a magnificant King who will do everything to keep it from breaking. To the Lord, there is nothing more captivating than to be with the child that He is in love with. I don't know if I will ever fully grasp the omnipotence of God, but I will do everything I can to try.

Father,
You truly do astound me. I am captivated by you. I am sorry for being selfish with my time and the way that I come before you. Help my heart to change. I can't do it, but you can. Thank you for your love and forgiveness. I love that you chose me to be your child. I wouldn't desire anything more! I love you.
Amen

Let us fall before Him putting away everything that may distract us, using our hearts to search and find Him. Let us be captivated by Him for He is the only true definition of beauty that we'll ever find.

Created In His Image

I find myself at many moments taking a small step back, looking at my life and asking "How can I be more like Christ?". I often wonder what is it that I need to say or do, or how shall I present myself in a manner that others may see the love of Christ through me? I have found myself asking these questions almost too often if that is even possible. I have come to the conclusion that instead of thinking these things, I need to first begin with the relationship that I have with God. Am I giving Him my time? Is He the one that I am in tune with when I fall asleep and when I wake each morning? Do I work to reflect His image for today? That is being pure, humble, faithful, selfless, and loving. Am I diving into His word, speaking to Him, and DWELLING IN Him? I do not need to know whether or not I lived for Him yesterday, nor will I live for Him tomorrow, but am I living in and for Him TODAY. I have found the answer to my question. What can we do in order that others may see Christ through us? Let Christ consume us, captivate us, and once we dwell in Him, he will overflow from us. Now THAT's powerful.
Dive. Go. Read. Learn. Reflect. Do. Be. Live. Love. Dwell.

In Christ we live and breath,

One of many daughters of the King

Skin-on

As I said in my previous blog, God is there. He is everywhere, breathing in everything, moving throughout, and living amongst everyone. He's in you and he's in me. Although feeling His presence is needed and longed for, it's almost as if sometimes we need something more. Something tangible. Something with... skin-on. I believe that is why God gave us the gift of relationships. God uses our loved ones to help us, encourage us, give us a shoulder to cry on, walk with us, conquer with us, share joy with us, and grow with us. Throughout ALL of that is God. He lives and moves in the relationships that we have and build on. I'm thankful for that. I think we all are.

Thank you Lord for the relationships that you bless us with. We would be nothing without you, O Lord, and would go nowhere without them. Father, throughout this messy life of mine, please use someone near with skin-on to help conquer, encourage, grow, share joy, and walk with me. I need that, but I need you more than ever. I love you.

In YOU I live and breath,

Courtney :0)