Captivated

Here I am wide awake in the middle of the night wondering whether to read or to write. Many thoughts are racing through my head as Christmas is only four days away and a brand new year is about to begin. Thoughts of last minute Christmas shopping, New Years Resolutions, family and friends fill my mind. I sit here a moment and the word "God" overpowers me. God. It is a name that we often throw around without a care, forgetting how powerful and meaningful it truly is. Lately I have been thinking about prayer in the same way. I tend to forget how extreme, intense, and powerful prayer is. I find myself praying to GOD telling Him the same things over and over again. "Father, you are amazing, wonderful, indescribable, full of love and you astound me", I recite to Him. Do you think that after hearing the same thing every single day that He would get tired of it? Do you think that those words would get old, worn out, and He may wonder if I truly mean it? As I begin to end my prayers, I often begin feeling guilty. I'm left in tears as I search for more words to lay before our Savior. I find nothing. HOW CAN I PRAY IN ORDER THAT I MAY GIVE GOD THE GLORY AND HONOR THAT HE DESERVES? Finally, a sweet voice softly says, "I want your love. I want your faith. I want your obedience. I want your time. I just want YOU, Courtney." I fall to my knees. Father reminds me that there is NOTHING GREATER than being in the presence of Him, holding on for dear life as He holds onto me. There is power that comes when I put away all distractions and my focus is solely on the one who created me. There is something greater than the words that come out of my mouth. There is a child who is giving her time, her love, her heart to a magnificant King who will do everything to keep it from breaking. To the Lord, there is nothing more captivating than to be with the child that He is in love with. I don't know if I will ever fully grasp the omnipotence of God, but I will do everything I can to try.

Father,
You truly do astound me. I am captivated by you. I am sorry for being selfish with my time and the way that I come before you. Help my heart to change. I can't do it, but you can. Thank you for your love and forgiveness. I love that you chose me to be your child. I wouldn't desire anything more! I love you.
Amen

Let us fall before Him putting away everything that may distract us, using our hearts to search and find Him. Let us be captivated by Him for He is the only true definition of beauty that we'll ever find.

Created In His Image

I find myself at many moments taking a small step back, looking at my life and asking "How can I be more like Christ?". I often wonder what is it that I need to say or do, or how shall I present myself in a manner that others may see the love of Christ through me? I have found myself asking these questions almost too often if that is even possible. I have come to the conclusion that instead of thinking these things, I need to first begin with the relationship that I have with God. Am I giving Him my time? Is He the one that I am in tune with when I fall asleep and when I wake each morning? Do I work to reflect His image for today? That is being pure, humble, faithful, selfless, and loving. Am I diving into His word, speaking to Him, and DWELLING IN Him? I do not need to know whether or not I lived for Him yesterday, nor will I live for Him tomorrow, but am I living in and for Him TODAY. I have found the answer to my question. What can we do in order that others may see Christ through us? Let Christ consume us, captivate us, and once we dwell in Him, he will overflow from us. Now THAT's powerful.
Dive. Go. Read. Learn. Reflect. Do. Be. Live. Love. Dwell.

In Christ we live and breath,

One of many daughters of the King

Skin-on

As I said in my previous blog, God is there. He is everywhere, breathing in everything, moving throughout, and living amongst everyone. He's in you and he's in me. Although feeling His presence is needed and longed for, it's almost as if sometimes we need something more. Something tangible. Something with... skin-on. I believe that is why God gave us the gift of relationships. God uses our loved ones to help us, encourage us, give us a shoulder to cry on, walk with us, conquer with us, share joy with us, and grow with us. Throughout ALL of that is God. He lives and moves in the relationships that we have and build on. I'm thankful for that. I think we all are.

Thank you Lord for the relationships that you bless us with. We would be nothing without you, O Lord, and would go nowhere without them. Father, throughout this messy life of mine, please use someone near with skin-on to help conquer, encourage, grow, share joy, and walk with me. I need that, but I need you more than ever. I love you.

In YOU I live and breath,

Courtney :0)

God is There

In the midst of unworthiness- God is there

When showered in hardship- God is there

When all you know is the frustration overpowering you- God is there

Among the shattered pieces that you feel inside- God is there

When soaking in your tears- God is there

In the corner of that smile that you have- God is there

In the look in your eye- God is there

In the love that you show- God is there

In the joy that you feel- God is there

In your heart- GOD IS THERE

I'm in awe. I have no words for how astounded I am at our indescribable Lord and Savior- our Father! I'm full of wonder and amazment at how He is there with us through everything we go through whether good or bad. Through subtle, day to day experiences He shows us His love, patience, and grace. How incredible is the Lord our God who will carry us through anything! Who desires us to CHOOSE Him! He longs for us! He cries out for us! He LOVES us. He chose us! Abba Father, How I choose you in return!

Thank you Father!

Your daughter,
Courtney :0)

Hope

She is trapped in a cave of darkness. Continuing to climb further and further into the cave she cries for she cannot find the light. "There's no way out!" She shouts. Her body is worn out, her knees are bleeding and her legs are weak. Bruises and scrapes cover her hands from keeping herself from falling. Dirt covers her face and begins to creep into her eyes. She trembles when she feels the loss of hope flowing through her body. All of the energy that she could possibly have has now left through her fingertips as she lies helpless against the rocky ground.
-Suddenly a voice calls out to her.. "Beloved! Beloved! Where is your hope? Where has your faith gone? Have you lost it all? I beg you, don't let it go!"

She struggles to fight the voice only becoming weaker and weaker. Finally there is nothing left inside of her and all she has left is to bring back the hope, the faith that she once had- crying out to the only one who can save her, Abba Father.

As I take a look all around me, my heart sinks. I see a loss of hope that is overpowering us. Where has it gone? My prayer, my PLEA is that we bring the hope back. Don't be afraid to cry out to God and ask our creator to help! He's listening.. He's ready to give it to you. Just ask.


Lord, I'm hopeless without you. Please give me the faith, the hope that I need to get through this day. Thank you Father :0)

-Your daughter,
Courtney

Heavenly Father,

I long to be under your control. Lord if I had only one plea it would be that you may take hold of my unformed heart and do with it as you please. Savior, please help me to be faithful to you TODAY. I am learning that I have absolutely no control over myself and therefore I ask that you hold me, mold me, love me, and use me. If I turn to the things of this world, the days become difficult and my heart becomes weak. If I turn to you, O Lord, the days may become difficult, but my heart becomes strong in you! Which shall I choose? The answer is simple yet the task seems to be more challenging. I cannot do this on my own! Please, Lord, walk with me, carry me. I need you. I desire to be yours and I believe you'll have me. Thank you beautiful one! Who am I that I deserve a Father to love me like you do? I do not deserve you, yet your unfailing love overflows into my life!
My life is in Your hands
Your daughter,
Courtney

My Prayer

Porcelain Heart by Barlow Girl



"Broken heart
One more time
Pick yourself up
Why even cry
Broken pieces in your hands
Wonder how you'll make it whole

CHORUS:
You know
You pray
This can't be the way
You cry
You say
Some thing's gotta change
And mend this porcelain heart of mine
Of mine....

Someone said
A broken heart
Would sting at first then make you stronger
You wonder why this pain remains
Were hearts made whole just to break

CHORUS:

Creator only you take brokenness
And create it into beauty once again

Chorus:

You know
You pray
This can't be the way
You cry
You say
Some thing's gotta change
And mend this porcelain heart
Please mend this porcelain heart
Of mine
Creator mend this heart"


~Only you, Lord, can pick up the pieces and mend them back together.
Your daughter,
Courtney

All I Ask of You

If I asked you to please me..

I would have left a long time ago.

I desire to be loved & to give love

and that's

why I'm still here.

Yours truly,

Courtney Witt

My desires....

I dream of Ice Skating because it's graceful.

I dance because it shows expression and emotion.

I want to play guitar because of the smooth melody.

I love to cook because it has flavor.

I sing because it brings out passion.

I think of the places i've been and I want to travel because it's adventurous and full of beauty.

I love speed-walking because I become determined.

I read because I can use my imagination.

I love to stretch because it helps me feel.

Grace, Listen, Beauty, Laugh, Feel, Determination, Smooth Melody, Cry, Imagination, Passion, Love, Flavor, Expression, Emotion, Move

LIVE

A song on my heart....

Hungry



"Hungry I come to You for I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know Your love does not run dry
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

Broken I run to You for Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch restores my life
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for"

Scars

I sit there looking at the back of my legs only to see the scars that will forever cover them. As I brush the tips of my fingers over them, I'm reminded of a summer filled with hardship, growth, tears, love, fear, joy, and obedience. The memories and thoughts that run through my head put me in a state of stillness and I begin to daydream. Each scar, for there are many, remind me of individuals that I've met, things that I've learned, and vivid moments that occurred. Though the biggest scar of all represents the God, my Father, who carried me through every step and by His hand healed each and every wound. I'm thankful to know that through these scars God has changed a life forever. Although many would say how they hate a scar they have, I have learned that where no scar lies, the wound hasn't yet healed.

Thank you Father. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. :)

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

Blue October

There's a boxed up feeling deep within-
One which I cannot describe.
My soul longs to put a mark, a name on it. Though I am not fully equipped to do such a task

I cry out!

Sad. Afraid. Disappointed. Hurt. Weak. Numb. Blue. Exhausted. Mournful.

I fall to my knees--

LORD!
HERE AM I! I don't have much to offer but please take me anyway! Form my unformed body into something useful for your glory. I'm weak. Use me. Teach me. Show me. LOVE me.

-James 1:2-8
-2 Corinthians 4:8-10; 5:14-15; 17

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." -Philippians 3:20-21

Hope. Eagerness. Willing. Change. Feel. Love. Inspire. Thankful.

In Him we live and breath,
Courtney

A Tool

For what it's worth, thank you. For what it's worth, I love you. For what I'm worth, take me. For what I'm worth, use me. I've read all you've done for me, now let me do for you.


"But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit--"
Romans 7:6

A gathering of other blogs

Monday, October 01, 2007
Becoming Uncovered

My desire... is to be seen from the inside out. It's for others to truly understand what's inside this heart of mine. The thoughts, the fears, and certain experiences as well as the joy that is gained from seeking to know the Lord. I do not long for this in order to benefit myself, but simply so that they will see the reason for this hope that I have in God. I long to share this beauty with them but words are not enough. Come along on this journey with me! See the life that God has prepared for you, and share your experience with me. Let's go together and serve in His name. Let's pick our brothers and sisters up along the way that they may glorify Christ in their steps. May we die to ourselves, live for Christ, and view each other from the inside out in order to further the beatiful kingdom of the Lord our God.
It's in Him we live and breath :)
Courtney




Sunday, September 30, 2007

In Better Hands
After years of brokeness I come to you. Through tears of numbness I've become alive in you. O Lord, the pieces of my heart are together because of your love, your grace and forgiveness. In moments of loneliness you've given me comfort. Your arms they wrap around me. Like a mother holds her baby through a storm, you hold me Lord. When failing because of the trust I put in everyone but you, I came to realize that you, my Savior, are all I need. I search deep within to find an everlasting joy and I see your name written on my heart! What an astounding gift :) I long for guidance and as I look at the path ahead I hear the simple words "Take my hand" and I fall into you. You carry me through today, tomorrow, and my hopes and dreams. You shower me with true love. You continue to pursue me. You are a beautiful groom, my Savior, my God, and my FATHER. I am at peace for I am in better hands now.
In You I live and breath,
Courtney, Your daughter

In Better Hands by Natalie Grant
"It's hard to stand on shifting sand It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night You can't be free if you don't reach for help You cant love if you dont love yourself There is hope when my faith runs out Cause I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground So take this heart of mine there's no doubt I'm in better hands now I am strong all because of you I stand in awe of every mountain that you move Oh I am changed, yesterday is gone I am safe from this moment on There's no fear when the night comes 'round I'm in better hands now It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground So take this heart of mine there's no doubt I'm in better hands now It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground Its like the world is silent though I know it isnt true Its like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room So take this heart of mine there's no doubt I'm in better hands now I'm in better hands now"

June 2007
Obedience
"And this is love: That we walk in obedience to his commands." 2 John :6
I have learned that in order to hang with God, you must be flexible! You must not settle in your ways and you should always be on your toes! Even through the confusion and at times frustration of following Christ, there truly is a peace that passes all understanding. Although I would like to know at times where I will be in 5, 10, or 30 years, I believe that taking a look at God's map of life may give me a huge head ache! Sometimes I look back on the roads I've used to take to get to where I'm at right now. I laugh at some choices I've made, cry at others, and agree at some knowing that God not only has a sense of humor but a sincerity as to why he takes us where he does. His plan is perfect though it may not seem so. I have also learned that being obedient not only takes flexibility, it may take humility, understanding, patience, and more. These are all good qualities to gain while walking with the Lord. I am filled with joy to know that life isn't perfect, and it's a mystery why things change! Love the curves in life, be obedient to the flow, and hold fast to our savior!
In His glory,
Courtney


July 2007
To be put in motion by God.....
To be put in motion by God is to..... *be tossed into a swarm of the unexpected.. *be fearful of Him yet full of peace IN HIM *overcome frustration through being satisfied with Christ as our stronghold *STARVE for Him *through trials, learn the importance of obedience *gain understanding by patiently waiting *humble yourself, and be open & available *be ready when he calls you to go- day or night *love even when it hurts *be JOYFUL knowing that whatever comes your way will not just be turned upside down but made into something beautiful Lord, please continue to keep putting my life in motion! It may be difficult, but there is no greater blessing :) Are you ready?


Dec 2006
Trusting God
On a recent Sunday morning my preacher made a point that "believing is trusting." This phrase has been on my mind for quite some time now. If this is true, then why is it that we who believe have such a hard time trusting God? I must say that this has been one of my difficulties lately. Since it has been such a struggle for me to put my full trust in God, do I truly believe? I have come to the conclusion that the statement is true. If you think about it, lack of trust in someone is also doubting them. Therefore if we have little trust in God, we are doubting Him. I think that the reason we as humans have such difficulty trusting Him is because we are constantly let down from day to day. We forget that God is not just another everyday human. He is God. We have to remember that he will never leave us, and He will definitely never let us down. He has our lives mapped out for us and at times it may seem as if He leads us down the wrong road. Although if we didn't ever go astray we wouldn't ever grow stronger. I want to challenge us all to every morning to wake up realizing that only God can fill our broken pieces. Continually ask him for the trust that we need to give everything up to Him. Don't forget that he will take care of our needs and we need not worry about a thing! God is amazing and we are his precious children! WOW what a concept huh? :)
Psalm 143:8"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."


Aug 26th, 2006
Giving it up to God is easier said than done
Ever feel like you're carrying baggage that you just can't get rid of? Or maybe like you're not good enough... possibly even lonely. "Just give it up to God" is what they all say. Well, I've got some news.. Giving it up to God is a whole lot easier said, then done. It's basically like saying "Here God, have my problems, my worries, and my thoughts.." then moving on as if the problem, worrie or thought didn't ever occur. It's actually even a difficult concept to grasp. Think about it. Giving it up to God. How exactly do you do that? Say you're having a problem with a friend.. It's not like you can throw your friend up to God and just say "Thanks for takin her God, now she's off my hands" haha. Infact, it's a lot different. Giving your worries and cares up to God is a way of living each day. You may think "wait, but I don't have problems every moment of my life." Here's the twist. Worship. I know, it's a change of subject.. but just bare with me. Worship is a way of living. It's adoration, it's thanking God, and it's GIVING OUR LIVES to him. If we give our life to Christ, then "giving IT up to God" becomes easier. When we live our life in such a way that we are worshiping him in all we do, then we are able to recognize that our stumbling blocks and worries are only the next step to drawing closer to Him. So how do we live each day in worship? Pray. When you wake up in the morning, pray. When you're eating breakfast or leaving for school or work, pray. Pray, and pray some more. Pray that God will SHOW you how to live in worship. Because I can guarentee that if you're willing to listen, then he's willing to guide. :)


Friday, September 08, 2006
Guide Me On My Way

"There's a path ahead I do not know
I spend hours searching high and low
One thing I ask, O Lord, I pray
That you guide me on my way

You continue to say, 'My child, do not worry'
But God, people are always in a hurry
I feel the need to know your plan for the next day
Please guide me on my way

One more thing that I now ask
My hope is that it's not a large task
That you put the trust in my heart that I need TODAY
To let YOU, Lord, guide me on my way."

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34






May 18th, 2006
Hold me, Father, human love just isn't enough!
Take me, Daddy- I can't do this on my own!
You've warned that things will get tough...
But God, I can't see clearly through everything you've shown..
BLIND
I plead to you now "Please help me through this mess!!"
I'm constantly tossed into a swarm of confusion
I'll admit there's so much I need to confess...
Give me the FAITH that this is not an illusion..
REVEAL
Show me your love, my KING
Finally, I'm beginning to see
I want you to be my everything!!
I'm ready Lord, Won't you take all of me??



"For I once was lost, but now I'm found.. was blind, but now I see" ;)





Sunday, May 14, 2006
God. Savior, Prince of Peace, FATHER, Healer, Mighty, Majestic, Jesus, Annointed one, LOVER OF MY SOUL!
How DO you really describe our Heavenly Father, and how AMAZING his works are?? CAN you even describe? I can't..
"Indescribable, uncontainable, You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name. You are amazing God All powerful, untameable, Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim You are amazing God Indescribable, uncontainable, You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name. You are amazing God Incomparable, unchangeable You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same You are amazing God You are amazing God "
Even those words don't do God's justice. You know, just as we don't have ENOUGH words to describe our creator, he doesn't even need to describe us with many words.
"You see the DEPTHS of my heart and you LOVE me the same"
Because God.. He SEE'S us. He knows our heart. He knows where our treasure lies. He knows who we seek, and why. God tells us he loves us but who would ever believe it if he didn't truly show us. And boy does he show us all right!!
Why do we even try to use words to describe a feeling that only a touch, a look, a feel can do it's justice?
All I know is that old saying that will never be forgotten...
"Actions speak louder than words"


In His INDESCRIBABLE love,
-Courtney